the case of the bees and the tricky lights

last night, a small swarm of bees invaded our living room. they swarmed around the ceiling light like it was their oxygen. we turned off our living room light and turned on the balcony light so that they would go out. almost all had made their way out into the new light so i closed our balcony door, turned off the lights outside and turned on the living room light. then there was buzzing and what sounded like little rocks thrown against glass. i turned the balcony lights on and saw the bees trying to get into the living room, buzzing back and forth hitting the glass everytime. they were oblivious to the obvious pain they must have felt everytime they hit glass. they only saw the light, their end-be and probably their salvation in the dark night.

this morning, i found some of the bees lying lifeless on the floor. apparently, they have decided not to give up hitting the glass until they just died of exhaustion, probably, or of despair.

i wonder if jigs and i are like these bees, desperately hitting ourselves on the glass to get near the light. you see, we have this project that had seemed fairly simple and doable, like flying from where a bee is to a coveted ceiling light. then all of these unexpected turn-arounds, setbacks, hurdles came like a pane of glass and tricky lights that turn on and off. then, the glass door opened for us and we came through a big hurdle. the project is at 50% completion. we were happy as a bee buzzing on our bright light.

then the tricky lights changed and we now find ourselves outside looking through the glass, door closed, into our light. and we still hit ourselves onto the glass to get through to our light.